you told me you loved me
why did you leave me, all alone
now you tell me you need me
im already gone.
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
;
10:06 AM
Crashed and burnt.
Salutations. I am just a mess. In pain, both physically and emotionally. My head hurts. My arm and leg hurts. Haiz. And I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes. Even for that brief moment, you want to hold on to everyone you love and that ONE person just pops into your mind. It's amazing who or what runs through your mind when you think you're gonna die. I could hear his sweet voice in my head. But somehow, even with all that pain shooting through my body, it doesn't come close to the pain of my broken heart.
Anyway, Christmas is coming soon. I am just looking forward to that. The Christmas cheer always gets to me! I can't wait! Even though I won't be here in Singapore on Christmas Day, I am glad to be going back home to Malaysia. I miss my family there. I miss my Malaysian food. I miss my Malaysia. Negaraku. I will definetely miss my Singaporean people. I have grown so accustomed to celebrating with them. Haiz. I really wish I could be in two places at once. Honestly, I truly wish I could.
I really wish I could reach out and hug him now. But I can't. Haiz. Dammit. Somehow, no matter how hard you try to make it seem like nothing happened, like everything's ok, it can never be that way. Because in the back of your mind somewhere, you're constantly reminded of that one tiny detail that changed everything. Note to self : Keep thoughts inside head. Please dear ones, learn from my horrendous mistake.
Now the fire alarm is ringing. Great. And the guy on the speaker is going on and on about it. I mean, DUH, it's obvious the alarm is ringing. We can hear it. Haiz. Retards. Anyhoo, the concert day is coming closer. Full dress rehearsals went great. We got our MJ leather jackets and our MJ gold outfits. We look so fly. Haha. This sunday is the day. 13th. I've been practicing my songs non-stop, trying to make them sound perfect. All the right moves and I'll stand by you. And I'm going to wear a pretty dress and all. The rare sight of me wearing a dress. Which unfortunately means I have to wear heels. Sigh. But then again, I don't want to look like some misfortuned person on Christmas. So yeah, I'll take the damn dress.
Now, I have to go study and do something fruitful with my life. If I even pause for a while, I will feel the pain of my broken heart reminding me that I can't have him, no matter how hard I try. Haiz. Gonna study now. Numb my mind and heart with the dull words on the powerpoint. At least i can cheer myself up with the fact that SOMEONE didn't make it through to the Idol finals! AHHAHA. God has given me the best present this Christmas. Slyvia for the win! :) I'll shutup now. Goodbye. Seasons greetings!
And then I crashed into you. And I went up in flames.
Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=
you are my past ; now, im my everything
