lil.queens - because im everything without you

you told me you loved me
why did you leave me, all alone
now you tell me you need me
im already gone.

Monday, November 30, 2009 ; 9:24 PM

How on earth does it happen?!

Salutations. I decided to surpise myself by blogging so soon after I just blogged. I figured, why not. It ain't gonna hurt nobody. So, here I am. Just found out today, that the stupid replacement faci for Web on Thursday, decided to paste my whole RJ for the whole WORLD to see! DUDE! Seriously! WTH! Haiz. I mean, if he wanted to quote me it would be fine. BUT HE PUT THE WHOLE FRIGGIN RJ THERE! Haiz. Boundaries, people. Tsk tsk. I hope he comes back though. He gave me an 'A'. :P

So have been practicing for Christmas. Full dress rehearsals are on the 6th. Our dance is great! Coming together great! We are gonna wear MJ-inspired outfits. :) ALL HAIL THE KING OF POP! So, found out now that for our solo performances, it's gonna be done acoustically. So, All The Right Moves, acoustic cover. I can't wait. Gonna be leading some Christmas carols as well, like O Holy Night,etc. Am so excited. We are going to put up the Christmas tree this weekend. I am absolutely euphoric! My family still cleaning the house. I have magnanimously withdrawn my services.

Everytime it seems that I am moving on and doing fine, someone comes along and makes me feel this way. I can feel myself falling, slowly, but surely. Deeper. But I can't help it, he makes me swoon. Like nothing I've felt before. Damn. I gotta start keeping hold of my emotions. Oh why do I like him so? Sigh. Anyway, was feeling in the mood to write due to overwhelming emotions. So, I wrote. I suppose I feel better now.

Listen can you hear it too?

The silent unending pleas my heart cries.
I am so swallowed, engulfed in emotion.

Above me, no surface, no hope, no life.

Just the stirring of the effervescent wind.

A howling breeze, can you not know?
So fly with me, out of this wary world.

Towards a euphoric haven.

Can you find me? Here I am, matyred.

Surreptitiously, I may have passed.

Woe is me.

Haiz. I doubt I have anything else to say. I have already laid my heart bare. Now, I'm not feeling so good. My class is infected. It's spreading like wildfire, those damn germs. Worse, tomorrow I have to give tuition and then I have dance practice. Yes, this is my life. But I guess it's worth the effort to do something that I love. I love teaching people the beauty of the English language, and I love dancing. Haha. So, I really shouldn't be complaining. I should be thankful for everything that I have, and everyone that I have to hug at the end of everyday.

Which reminds me. I feel like cuddling my little brother know. He always makes me feel better. Haha. Plus, he's sick too. So, we can be all germy together. Haha. Tomorrow is marketing. Dang! At least I have Fadhil's hug to look forward to at the end of everyday. Haha. Thanks Fadhil. You're a lifesaver. :) Alright, I shall be off to spread my germs somewhere else. And to lie down and sleep actually. You can NEVER have TOO MUCH sleep! I only wish I didn't have to wake up at some point. Sigh. Wishful thinking. Okay then. Adieu.

I'm going under. Drowning in you.

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.

=DeBbIe=

you are my past ; now, im my everything

Friday, November 27, 2009 ; 9:15 PM

A long well deserved break.

Salutations. I am finally back to post yet again. I suppose you would have gotten bored with my usual blabberings, but if you're reading this, then I guess I supposed wrong. Anyhoo, it feels good to blog again after so long. So, more about my life now. School has been great. I am surprised that I have made so many friends. I mean, cmon, it's me we're talking about. I am not exactly number one at making friends, what with my lack of social skills and all. But, I have managed to get along great with everyone so far. Am loving my class, W14C. Also, people within CCC. I thank the Lord everday for them and for being able to study what I love. As Adam Lambert said, It's time for miracles. :)

Everyday in school has been an adventure all on its own. I love going to school now, except for the waking up early part. That always sucks. Haiz. I miss Fadhil. Wish I could hug him now. Sigh. He gives me more motivation to go to school everyday, especially since Ruben has been M.I.A in the mornings. Perhaps he's hiding from me. Haha. He's retaining his first year at Innova, which means he'll be there 3 years. Lucky for me, sad for him. Oh well. But, I really miss Fadhil. That sweet monkey has that effect on me. Haha. He cut his finger the other day, with a penknife, trying to be a hero. I swear my heart stopped for a moment when I heard what happened. Thank God he was alright though.

In other news, Christmas is coming up! YAY! We are having another Christmas event this year, this time at Civil Service Club. It's gonna be LEGEN-wait for it-DARY! As usual, we are doing a dance. There will be bhangra dance and a hip hop. Usually, I am always involved in both, but this time I'm taking a break. Too many things going on to commit. So, I'm sticking to my hiphop. We are doing a collaboration of Ciara, J.T, and of course our beloved MICHAEL JACKSON! KING OF POP, May He Rest In Peace. I feel so proud and honoured to carry on his legend, even in a small way. I really am looking forward to Christmas! AAAAAAAHHH!!! CHRISTMAS!!!! Sorry. Spasms. I always get excited this time of year. Tis the season.

I will also be singing for Christmas. Finally, it's my time for shine. My solo. I am so used to singing in church, but now in front of many people. I thought after joining East View Idol and performing for EV's National Day, I would be over my nervousness. But hell no! I'm so friggin nervous. I will most probably be singing OneRepublic or Taylor Swift. I hope it goes well, so help me God. Wish me luck people! I so DON'T wanna screw up Christmas. Now am thinking about Narnia and Adam Lambert. I have been obsessing over Narnia recently. It being an allegory and all, I can never get sick of it. Also, with Adam's album release, I am going mad! So awesome!

My mother has been bugging us to clean the house, what with the arrival of Christmas and all. I guess this is when having 7 people in the family comes in handy. Efficient cleaning! Hanging curtains, cleaning curtains, cleaning windows, and every other inch of the house. I haven't actually done much work, playing my 'I have school and work to do' card. I am lying in bed eating chocolate fudge cookies, reading Breaking Dawn and snuggled up in my blanket, while the rain is pouring down outside. Perfection. So, I had to take the time to blog this to rub it in your faces. Haha. Sorry.

Alright, I shall be off. I feel bad for not doing work. NOT. I am just waiting for them to finish so we can put up the Christmas tree together!!!! AAAHHH!! :) I am uber excited. Okie, my brother came in to get me to do work. Sigh. Really gotta go. Dammit! Haiz. Til next time, I bid you all adieu. Auf Wiedersehen! Oh yes. Don't forget. Tis the season to be JOLLY! Falalalalalalalala!

There's no real love in you. Why do I keep loving you?

Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=

you are my past ; now, im my everything