you told me you loved me
why did you leave me, all alone
now you tell me you need me
im already gone.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
;
10:20 PM
AAAHHHH.
Salutations. It is the night before O Level results. I am friggin scared. Despite people reassuring me that I am going to do well, and knowing God is with me, I can't help but be overcome with fear. It's just human nature I guess. But despite all that, there is sadder news. Yes, when I thought that things possibly couldn't be more heartbreaking. Firstly, I wanted to go out with my friends today, to Simpang. To be surrounded by their warmth and lovingness before getting my results. To bask in their encouragement. But they all didn't want to go. I understand. This is made even sadder by the fact that my school friends asked me along, and I bailed, for nothing. Haiz.
Next thing I know, there is a Man U vs Chelsea match tonight. I asked Caleb if I could tag along to Bob's house, and he turned me down. Shocker. But what hurts, is that he promised the last time, to bring me to the next match. He brushed it off like it was totally nothing. It hurts when people closest to you break your heart. I really love soccer. And it's not like I can watch it at home, no cable TV. Why do I have to be the freak of a girl who loves soccer? Then I end up losing out, cause I'm the only girl.
Guess I was meant to live a life of solitude. I understand their feelings. Who wants a girl around right? To ruin their fun. If only God made me a guy. I would be so much better at being a guy than a girl. Looks like I'm stuck. I just have to face life the way it is. SHIT. Results. Tomorrow. DAMN. It would be great encouragement if Man U wins. Go RONALDO! Haha. I'm tryin my best to dry these tears up and put a smile on my face. Anybody wanna help?
Tomorrow is going to be hell. Only good part is seeing my friends. First, results that define my life. Next, a half hour of correction from my mentor. Yippee. Guess God really wants me to change. I am changing. I have let go of things past. Let's hope I am able to take the correction with maturity. It's gonna be hard, but I know I must. Lord, help me. Oh ya, mummy is doing well. The op went smoothly. She has been discharged. She is walking around, actively. I am so happy. She has overcome the depression and is walking in victory. Hallelujah! Truly God's grace.
Alright. Guess I will be off now. Going to cheer myself up with Whose Line videos and some other Youtube stuff. Haha. Wish me luck. Next time you see me, I'll be an O Level graduate. Amen. May the force be with you all. Now, we all have to be Superhuman and face it.
You changed my whole life. Feeling all Superhuman.
Sexy 17. It's my power shift.
=DeBbIe=
you are my past ; now, im my everything
