you told me you loved me
why did you leave me, all alone
now you tell me you need me
im already gone.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
;
9:58 PM
Damn you people. All of you!
Salutations. I thought I could handle this. Apparently, I can't. Why does all this happen at times when you need peace and serenity??? Screw the world.
I need to talk to someone now. But nobody seems to care. How do I know? Because no bloody person is replying me or picking up my call. Bobby isnt. Abigail is enjoying herself. And these are just examples. AAAHH. Now, when I need you, you make yourselves unavailable. GOSH. Grace, I am 16. I can make my own decisions. Freedom?Liberation? Ever heard of it? It comes of age. I am soooooo damn effing sick of her controlling me. So what, if Esther doesn't go? I can go if I want to. It's Gopi's birthday for God's sake. I care more about him then YOU people ever will.
You know what. Sick of you telling me that I am no good. That I should be like Esther. That I'm worthless. Useless. I am what I am. You love her sooooo much, adopt her why dont you? I'm sure you guys will love her in the family. Since you have made my imperfections a big deal in your eyes. Not skinny enough as you said. Not smart enough. Not hardworking enough. Not pleasant enough. Well, take her if you want. I'll go make myself useful somewhere else. Fight for myself, by myself. Hope you're happy now Caleb. Your idea of a perfect little sister exists in her. And Grace, she will listen to you, don't worry about that.
To my friends. Of all the times you guys choose to argue and hold grudges against each other, you choose now. WHY?!! Now, we need each other. We are not gonna see each other anymore. We are done with EV. Instead of treasuring these moments, you choose to make rude remarks and hold unforgiveness against each other? Isn't it Hari Raya...maaf zahir dan batin? What happened to all that. Let me just say, true friendships can't be distraught over such issues. It holds through the storms of life. So, hope you get an attitude check and realise that there is more to life than this nonsense.
I miss Zhaf. Soooooo very much. So glad he's coming for Raya. He means alot to me. And I just can't let him go. Love of a big sister I guess. Even then, some people seem to think they are incharge and make decisions for all of us. Well, get a reality check before you end up forming your own clique and forget us people who were there for you.
Why does shit have to happen??? I wanna be strong and mature, and fight. But, I'm breaking down, piece by piece. Is no one here for me? I need someone. I want my Gopi back. I want his love again.I want everything to be right again. The world to be good again. For love and peace to reign. Guess wishful thinking isn't going to help. Someone. Is anyone out there? Please.
I'm going under. I'm falling forever. I've got to break through.
Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=
you are my past ; now, im my everything
