you told me you loved me
why did you leave me, all alone
now you tell me you need me
im already gone.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
;
10:36 PM
I'm not insane. I'm not insane.
Salutations. I know I just posted on Friday. But I cannot take it. I am carrying this unknown burden right now, and I can't place my finger on it. It is utterly frustrating. Let me paint the picture. I was in a good mood. The day at church had gone wonderfully. After a while of smsing Josh J, I was prepared to start revision for Physics. I switched on the laptop for music purposes, and focused solely on my work. Then HSM 2 starts, and I take a break to watch it.
I faithfully carried on with my work after HSM. Suddenly, I get this urge to do something wild. I feel this sense of wanting to be liberated, and let me say, it was pretty overpowering. And now my emotions are running amock. I am filled with a sense of trepidation, but somehow confidence too. Have I suddenly become hormonally imbalanced? PMS?
Haiz. Help me Lord. Yesterday I had my moment with God. I poured out my heart to Him. Told Him everything that was troubling me. And after much crying and heartache, I was joyful. I knew God had heard me. He always does. The joy of the Lord is my strength. Nothing could demoralize me after that. God threw me that lifeline when I needed it most.
I guess I want freedom to do whatever I want, NOW. I want to pierce my tongue, pierce my ears again, get my tattoo, and dye my hair. This is what I want. And I will do it. Just as soon as I finish proving Singapore that I am more than capable of applying my knowledge of these past years into one paper. Thank God for blogs. What a wonderful way of expressing yourself. I feel better now.
I guess when you're pressured with a major exam, when you have lost your closest friends, when you lose the guy you love, when things at home aren't so good, and when you feel alone, going WILD is the only way to escape. Yup. My hypothesis. Alright, back to more studying for me. Before that, I am going to cheer myself up with some Hannah Montana karaoke. She always makes me happy. Haha. Weird, I know.
Btw HAPPY DEEPAVALI!! Deepavali Valthukkal.
Keep me afloat. Cos I know I'll sink without you. Throw me a lifeline.
Sweet 16.Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=
you are my past ; now, im my everything
