you told me you loved me
why did you leave me, all alone
now you tell me you need me
im already gone.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
;
8:32 PM
Happy National Day to Malaysia!
I'm so excited. It's National Day in Malaysia. Negaraku. So, I decided to put the National Anthem on my blog. Hehe..couldnt resist.
Negaraku, tanah tumpahnya darahku.
Rakyat hidup, bersatu dan maju.
Rahmat bahagia, Tuhan kurniakan.
Raja kita, Selamat Bertakhta.
Rahmat bahagia, Tuhan kurniakan.
Raja kita, Selamat Bertakhta.
I'm so proud of her. My country. I missed the parade in the morning. Damn!
Anyway, today in church, we played PS3. We played yesterday too. Winning Eleven as usual. I scored one yesterday. Today, we played Tag Team. Winners stay. So Bobby and I teamed up. Then J.I and Deeps trashed us. So we got kicked out. Then JJ and Gopi took over us. They got kicked out too. I was then, so determined to make them lose. J.I and Deeps I mean. So, Bob and I took Man U for some motivation. And then, guess wat. I SCORED BABY!! TWO BEAUTIFUL GOALS!! Rooney and Scholes. And with that, we won. And we trashed Deeps and J.I. I felt so happy. To put them in their place. Haha. Ha.
Okay. So people are loving my hair. Its sooo short I cant tie it. I feel so weird. Gopi said I looked like Rihanna. Esther said I looked cute. Everyone else said I looked nice. :) So, I'm glad to hear that. Oh ya, before Winning, we watched An Inconvenient Truth. Ben is still a skeptic. When will he ever realise global warming is a real threat, not so much of exaggeration anymore. Tsk tsk.
Anyhoo, thats all folks. Ciao! And Selamat Hari Kebangsaan!
We're gonna breakout. Let the party start.
Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=
you are my past ; now, im my everything
Friday, August 29, 2008
;
9:08 PM
Prelims are over. Bring on the O's.
Hello people. I have changed my blogskin. Hope you like it. I love it. So, sorry if your links are missing. Tagboard will be up soon too. The song playing. Somewhere Out There by Our Lady Peace. Love this song.Anyhoo, prelims are finally over. I am relieved. De-burdenized. Thank God there is a one week holiday. I can take a break. Which, to put in layman's terms, I STILL HAVE TO STUDY. Yeap. There's no escaping it.
Okay, today we celebrated Teachers' Day! Gerek ke ape!! It was so much fun. Somehow, with this being our last year at East View and all, every celebration we've had is so much fun. It's been so much more splendid spending time celebrating with fellow East Viewans. The cake was delectable. Hope Miss Suhaila loved the video and the presents. She's one of the coolest teachers at EV. Sad that she won't be there to share the joy and the pain of O Level results. Utterly devastating.
Before personal class time, we had ACES Day workout. Bring on the Muay Thai. Gimme some hot Angmoh instructors with sexy Thai shorts and , and I'm ready to box the life out of ya. It was so fun! Then the performance in the hall was great. Clarence, awesome voice. Great rendition of Jason Mraz. Farid and Dalilah, cute as usual, No Air. Then, these 2 Sec 1 dudes did hiphop. WOW. The Step-up 2 kind. Awesome. You could hear our jaws hit the floor. Gerek giler!
Then, met Zhaf. He was sad bout his results. We tried to encourage him, hope it helped. Followed him to buy a drink, then went for the after-party at 402. Damn fun!! Dancing! Demas like clubbing. Sanjay doing bhangra. Fit and Akid doing gay dance. Haha. So funny! To top it all off, Mirul, hot dancing! WOOOHOO!! Experienced perhaps? Then went home. Went to sleep. Woke up. Went to salon to cut hair. Short.
So, now I'm sitting here. Tomorrow is another day. Subway lunch appointment. Let's take one step at a time. Oh ya, Nury, I shall be magnanimous, and make the first move. I'm sorry for whatever I did. I can see that you don't wanna talk to me, I get it. But I don't wanna leave EV without tying up loose ends. So, when you're ready to forgive me, lemme noe. I'll be around.
Sometimes you can't make it on your own.
Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=
you are my past ; now, im my everything
Thursday, August 21, 2008
;
5:42 PM
Prelims suck. Let's start a revolution.
Friends suck sometimes. I don't really feel like talking. So I'll let my poems do the talking.
Diminishing Time
As the light of time is dawned by the moon's shadow,
so his love for me diminishes.
Though the years of glances and feelings have passed,
beckones the question in me of meaning and sacrifice.
Love proved unfailingly all this while,
but has it undone its trust this time.
My heart shall be awake, watching from a glance.
From the eyes that bring joy and sadness in a flash.
Cold and dark as it may be from the outside,
time shall tick away the hours, 'til my heart rests
In eternal slumber, with or without his comfort.
Sibiling Love
I watched over you, just like I promised I would.
I walked next to you, just like a shadow would.
I gave you a beloved gift, just like a close friend would.
I gave you a kiss on the forehead, just like a mother would.
I reached out to you in my need, just like a broken heart would.
I put up with all your rejection, just like a loving heart would.
I cared for you more than anyone else, just like I knew I would.
I love you and always will, just like a big sister should.
Betrayal of Friends
I thought I could count on you, but you let me falter.
Out in the murky depth, those deep waters.
I reached for you, begging for your hand.
But you walked away and watched me reach the end.
I thought you would wait for me, like good friends would.
But I painstakingly searched, until no longer I could.
You stabbed me and left me to bleed dry.
Bleeding my tears out, you didn't even ask why.
I'm always the last,to know everything you do.
But I'm so used to it, it's nothing new.
I thought friends were something special and true.
But all these lies and betrayals, its expected of you.
Friends do turn their backs on you, and leave you behind.
But they will receive what they give, all in due time.
That's all for now. Bye people. Ciao!
Watch out, you might just go under. Better think twice. Disturbia.
Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=
you are my past ; now, im my everything
Friday, August 15, 2008
;
10:23 PM
Shit. Prelims. Here. Now.
Here we go again.Same old shit again. He tells me I'm the only one who shows him love and always cared for him. And then he is close to me.The bond becomes so much stronger. And I'm much happier again, basking in the glow of it all, before it slips away. AGAIN. I hope each time that this sad ending will never happen again, but alas, my hope runs void. It happened again. He acts like I'm just some Sec 4 girl he knows. Not a sister. Not a treasured friend. Barely talking to me when I make the effort. So why do I bother? I just sit in the corner and hope he talks to me. But nope. Nisa gets his attention, Aida too and Nury. Me, just a hi. As usual, I'm sulking and missing him more than ever. And then, after a looooooooooooooong while, he repeats his act of thankfulness and etc. And..well.You know. Why do I bother? Cause I love him dearly, my little Sec 3 wonder boy.My lil' Chris Brown. Hope you know who you are. Please don't hurt me like this. If you're just gonna do it again and again, please spare me the heartache.
So, went to library today.Study with Mirul. Then Jay joined us. Thank God for Mirul. His maths is POWER yaw!! Haha. Then ikut Jay to buy food from S-11. Then Jay and I take 21 back while Mirul take MRT. I skipped the conversations in between.DUH. So, EMPOWERED concert tomorrow. I'm singing. Then back to more studying. Oh ya, got my O Level MT results. I got a bloody C6. Cried my lil'eyes out. But at least I pass. But I'm still retaking. I ain't satisfied.
Gosh I miss Edward. Haha. I miss Bobby. I miss Malaysia. Found out tt Jay is half-Malaysian. Haha. I'm not alone. Weeeee!! Oh well. So, other than that. Nothing much to post about. Oh ya one more thing. About him. Not the him I talked about earlier, but the him I talked about in my last post. Well, his eyes still captivate me. So deep, I could drown in them. And yet,I feel like I'm home. Right there with him. His smile. Gosh. But I guess love means to sacrifice. And I'm sacrifing my confession to be by his side without him feeling awkward. Haiz.
Here are photos from the memorial service I went for in Malaysia for my late grand-aunty.
My grandparents, great grandparents, and great-great grandparents. Woah.
My dad, his parents and aunts and uncles.
Grace,Me, Slvina, Caleb and Joshua with her( late Aunty Orange)
Thats her. :(
The cross at her grave.
Beautiful. 
Mourning.
Break me down. Bury me. Bury me. I am finished with you.
Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=
you are my past ; now, im my everything
Thursday, August 07, 2008
;
7:54 PM
Put me out of my effing misery.
News delivered. Straight to you gal. You wanna attract attention?!! Go search for people who actually care! Your pathetic attempts at grovelling for attention are utterly disgusting. With the loud songs blasting when you're walking around like an effing MINAH. Wateva. Then fake "illnesses" and then you're okay after a while. SOOO merepek. I HATE and DESPISE people like her. Attention Seeking Disorder. Don't you have dignity or are you soooooo desperate for people to look at you that you don't care? Seriously, get a life. Rolling eyes now. Act cute bitch! AAAAHHH!!
Okay. On to other matters. I'm halfway done with Breaking Dawn, which is the final installment of the Twilight saga. I don't want it to end. But all good things must come to an end. Even someone so perfect,gorgeous and glorious as Edward Cullen. Sad much.
Someone reach out to me. I know you're out there. Somewhere out there. I can't take this pain anymore. The one person you love, and your best friend is taking him away. I have no choice but to fake this smile on my face. I even joke about it, when it's tearing me up inside. Those eyes. Might as well drag me across a bed of nails and leave me on the floor to bleed myself dry. Is anybody out there listening? Zhafri, I need you. My dear adik, I need you now, so much.
Guess I have to face this on my own. He can never know. It would just ruin everything. All that I have worked to achieve in our friendship. Our closeness. I don't wanna ruin it. Guess I have to be the third wheel again. The one left behind. Left out. Left alone. What can I do anyway? All these are just inconvenient truths. I only have one hope. The hope of the cross.
Crawling in my skin. These wounds they will not heal.
Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=
you are my past ; now, im my everything
Sunday, August 03, 2008
;
6:40 PM
Ouch. It hurts. Bad.
Prelims. Damn. Soon. Devil can't bring me down. They say the devil wears Prada. Well, I own Prada. Beat that! Okay,verging on lameness now.
Finally gonna read the last installment of the Twilight saga. Breaking Dawn. Let's just pray and hope that Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan have their Happily Ever After. Cause I don't think Stephenie Meyer wants a mob of angry "Cullenists" chasing after her with their pitchforks. Haha. On to more, my mum is doing better, though still in Changi. Thanks for your regards. The meds work. Praise God. I know God will carry us all through. The amount of housework, GOSH!. Who knew.
Went for FOP, Festival of Praise, yesterday at Indoor Stadium, as usual. Met Cyril there as usual. This year was good too, Parachute Band and Reuben Morgan. Awesome worship! Can't wait for next year. I miss WinningEleven. AHHH!! Three weeks. I miss Bobby too! So much!
Anyway, thanks Mirul and Lock for dinner on Friday. They blanja me. So sweet! I love you both! We went to study at Tamp Lib. Then go makan. I wasn't feeling well, so Mirul sent me to the bustop and bought me Panadol and water. I love you Mirul! Thanks. And Lock's hair. WOW. I still love it! Haha. He very shy to talk to me after I told him he looks hot. Haha. Zhaf, I miss you alot too. Everyday. I miss your heartwarming smile. I love you! Alright, I have to study. Now. Ciao peeps!
I don't care what they say. I'm in love with you. I keep bleeding love.
Sweet 16. Gonna spread my wings.
=DeBbIe=
you are my past ; now, im my everything
