you told me you loved me
why did you leave me, all alone
now you tell me you need me
im already gone.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
;
12:21 PM
I could really use a wish right now.
Salutations.
I feel all I need is a break. Just one day that the school gives us, to take time off school and to just relax. But, like that's ever gonna happen. Haiz. I didn't expect Year 2 to be so stressful. I am incomprehensibly exhausted. The work, and the assignments, and the IGs, and the CE Talks, and the UTs; and on top of that quizzes and RJs and CE Talk RJs plus giving tuition. Yikes!
I'm 18 already, and yet I feel like a total nerd. Not liberating my legal self yet. And Mirul, he's so cute with his Year 1 talk. He, Hafsah (Ni'mah's sister) and Wan, all asking me bout Year 1 and what is was like. I'm glad I have knowledge and wisdom to impart. Haha. Mirul loves doing RJs, and he's already started with his writing of notes for the UTs.
Well, right now, I'm supposed to be studying for the UT. But I just needed to blog first. Since, now, my faci, HI ANDREW!, has my blog address. :) I need some cheering up, and something to take my mind off school for once. Hmmm... maybe I'll just stare at the giant Man United poster in my room (hehehe) or the giant Cristiano Ronaldo poster too (^^). Let me give you a brief idea of what they look like.
Nice, right?!!! I KNOW! I get to stare at them all day. HAHAHAHA. Okay, now that cheered me up. Time to go study. Auf Wiedersehen.
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?
=DeBbIe=
you are my past ; now, im my everything
Monday, May 03, 2010
;
10:02 PM
I'm living in denial of the world around me.
Where do I go when there is absolutely no where to go? No one to turn to. You would think one's mind would be a sanctuary during a time like this. But, no. It's the cause of my denial, of my confusion, of my doubt. To feel yourself slipping off the edge, and having no rope to pull you back. To start thinking that everything I have vowed for is a lie.
I wish I didn't feel this way. I wish I never thought this way. But, I'm too far gone. I yearn so much for someone to save me. And to see that no one can. Not even God. It's a scary feeling, being all alone to fight this. Waging war with myself. I can only crawl back within my empty soul, and hide there.
But how do I tell people? I don't wanna disappoint my family. My friends since young. My dad. I couldn't bear for people to blame him for all this. I wish I could make this all better, as if it never happened, but I can't. Only I can fight this now. Alone.
Somebody save me.
Debbie.
you are my past ; now, im my everything
Saturday, April 24, 2010
;
10:21 PM
AND THAT IS HOW YOU PLAY SOCCER!!!!
WAY TO GO DEVILS! WE KICKED SOME SPURRIAN ASS TONIGHT, BABY!
Manchester United. Let me take this moment to tell you how proud I am of you. Every match, every season, every trophy, every victory, every loss, you have been through it all. And yet, we are still a world-class team. We proved we are not a one-man team like many think. But that we are UNITED! No words can describe this ecstatic feeling inside me. Just know that, win or lose, I will forever wear your emblem over my heart with pride. Once a Red Devil, always a Red Devil!
GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED! AS THE REDS GO MARCHING ON!
Always and Forever a part of the team
=DeBbIe=
you are my past ; now, im my everything
Thursday, April 22, 2010
;
10:41 PM
Man is cursed.
Salutations.
Today has turned out to be a horrid day. Seriously. It always turns out this way when I go to school alone and go home alone. I swear. When I am with other people, this cursed fate chooses not to befall me. I do not wish to recall the days events, but let me assure they are bad. That is spelt S-H-I-T.
On top of that, having to deal with school and giving tuition. Haiz. Sometimes I wish they would understand the life of a teenager, and give us like a break for 2 days. Just to catch up on sleep and just enjoy life. I seriously think many of us need it. Being sick on top of it all does not help my situation.
UGGHHH. At least I finally got to catch up with my dear Adam. He looks so cute with his little Replug sign. And I finally got to see Ghaz, muscles and all. He looks even bigger now. I am so happy to finally have EVSS people here with me. I finally feel at home. Haha. And now, after finally finishing my RJ, i am listening to my song of the moment. I am soooo addicted to this song.
It's Memories, by Kid Cudi and David Guetta. OMG! I freaking love it. Like damn! Now I'm blogging and watching Idol Gives Back. It's so sad to see children around the world who have nothing, but yet have so much faith in God. And now I know, despite all the horrid things that have happened to me today, it is NOTHING compared to the daily struggles these people go through. And that God has truly blessed me.
Amen.
All the crazy shit I did tonight, those will be the best memories.
=DeBbIe=
you are my past ; now, im my everything
;
12:08 AM
Get off your high horse.
Just cause I can't go on,
just cause I die when you're gone.
Just cause I think of you in bed, don't let it go to your head.
If I looked in your eyes, one too, too many times,
& memorized every word you said, don't let it go to your head.
Enough said.
=DeBbIe=
you are my past ; now, im my everything
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
;
2:53 PM
Ah, the chaos of cilivisation.
Salutations. I have just returned from an awesome escape away from civilisation. It was a much needed and deserved trip for myself. This was a last minute, spur-of-the-moment thing, and I decided to embrace it. Ben anna invited me along, so I gladly accepted. I mean, it's not like I had school or anything. The original plan was just to celebrate Melanie's 21st birthday at the Sailing Club, but we all stayed over. I'm glad I did.
So after the party, Ben anna, Joanna akka, Nicholas, Gopi, Melanie, Aunty Mary and myself stayed over. It was so much fun. The front of the chalet was facing the sea, absolutely beautiful. And the back was facing Old Changi Hospital, absolutely creepy. So from our windows, when you opened them up, you could see OCH. Which is why we kept them closed. Haha. But, we drove up to OCH anyway, at about 1am. They painted the place, so not much vandalism now. Then we drove to the beach. Went for a walk and stuff.
Then we drove up to the coffeeshop to watch the Liverpool match. After which, we headed back to drink some wine and went to bed. The next day, after a quick breakfast, Ben, Jo, Gopi, Mel and I walked up to OCH. In daylight, it didn't look as creepy but it felt just the same. We decided to be heroes and went inside. We went all around the place, even to the 2nd and 3rd floors. There was a path connecting to the mortuary, but we didn't go there. Ben went around taking photos. Haha. There was even some vandalism on the floor saying " Jesus was here. " Haha.
So, after a long time of looking around, we headed out. We walked down the road and checked out other chalet's that we could book for our Youth Retreat. We found this awesome one. So big, so beautiful. We bought one can of Coke Zero and shared. We sat down and talked about Sri Lanka. Haha. Let's just say I love that I am Tamil, not Sinhalese. Haha. We went back and ordered Mac's, then watched a few DVD's on the player we rented. Gopi and I watched Kal Ho Naa Ho, then we all watched Pineapple Express, and finally Chalte Chalte.
Across our chalet, there's a Changi Boardwalk. So, we went for a walk. We walked all the way to the end, a very far distance. Somewhere near this awesome beach. All the while, Mel and I forced Gopi to walk infront to protect us from the dozen cockroaches hiding in the dark waiting to scare us. Then, we played cards. It was loads of fun.
I'm glad we had this break. All the while trying to scare Melanie. She's easily freaked by the way. She gets scared of even her own hair sometimes. Haha. We had a toy spider, which is now apparently Gopi's pet spider, Spidey. How creative right. We kept scaring the shit out of Melanie with the spider, by closing the door, switching off the lights and all. Haha. We even messed with her teddy bear, Ratty, named after the species of rat which she thinks looks uncannily like her bear.
The sad part was when we had to return home. But I'm sure we had a great time just spending it away from the rest of Singapore and with each other. We ate loads of Ice-cream with Brownie cake, and spoilt Gopi's voice even more. Now, at least he sounds sexy. Haha. We had breakfast at the coffeeshop before we left, then they dropped me back. The thing is, I didn't get much sleep those 2 nights thanks to the stupid building across the road, the stupid Changi place, and the ghost stories. So, when I reached home at 1pm, I went to take a nap. Turns out, I slept for 22 hours straight til the next day. Haha. I amaze myself sometimes. Haha.
So that's the end of my trip. Now, I'm back here in the real world. Sigh. Trust me people, when the world gets to be too much of a pain in the ass, just start your own exodus to an unknown land or ulu place. It will be so worth it. Til then, I bid you all adieu.
I'll never be the same. If we ever meet again.
=DeBbIe=
you are my past ; now, im my everything
Monday, February 15, 2010
;
10:37 PM
Salutations.
Sigh. Just when I thought life couldn't get worse. That the world finally had thrown enough crap on me to last a lifetime. But I mean, this is me right, I never get things easy. I've gotta fight my through every single thing, just like how I've been fighting for the past years. Guess God made me a fighter.
So, with all the crap that's been happening recently, from being rained on to my shoe tearing, from cards being lost to being stranded with no money, I have learnt to make the best of my situation. But in this case, it's more of a dead end. So,we youths planned to have a cycling/trekking trip at Pulau Ubin. I was so looking forward to go. Unfortunately, my stupid knee ( you know the knee which has been giving me so many problems over the last few years and which the doctor declared arthritic) decided to act up. I got up from the chair too fast and something happened and I ended up on the floor.
I screamed bloody murder, after which my brother came running and carried me all the way to the bed. God, I love having strong brothers who are officers of the Army. He carried me because I couldn't move my leg at all. Believe me, I tried, it was excruciating. So, I lay there writhing in pain while my brother tried to help me. Then, I just couldn't lay there anymore, and I just had to move. So, I am now walking around using crutches. Yes, my unfortunate fate.
But I really wanted to go for the trip, so I told my siblings that I would be fine by the morning and I could go. But they were set in their ways, and so I sulkily went to bed. In the morning, as if things couldn't get worse, it was the time of the month again. And so, even though I have gulped down a lot of Panadol, I still have a hot water bag on my tummy. I hope my misery amuses you or at least someone, cos it sure as hell ain't amusing me.
I'm fated to suffer with these extremely horrid menstrual cramps as well as my new found lameness( and by lameness, I mean being handicapped, not extremely lacking in joking skills). I am really uncomfortable. So, so, very uncomfortable. And I wish someone would save me from this misery. Well, someONE more than anyone else, but I'm guessing that person won't be saving me for a long time to come.
Maybe I should write a book about this. To help any other unfortunate person in the world who shares the same fate as mine. But maybe I should come up with a good ending for my own misery first. Maybe I should start from my childhood and growing up here in Singapore. How being an Indian made it harder. I shall call it " The Indian who faced it all. Yes, even that. " This is for all the Indians out there. Being picked on and being a minority really takes it out of someone. Sigh. But, I guess being an Indian makes things a helluva lot more fun.
சொமேடிமேஸ், இ ஜஸ்ட் லவ் பிங் இந்தியன்.
And with that I say goodnight. I'm off to face the world, one miserable encounter at a time. With my trusty lightsaber, oh no, I mean crutches, and my hot water bag.
P.S. Sidekick wanted. Pity not required.
=DeBbIe=
you are my past ; now, im my everything
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
;
9:26 PM
Salutations.
The greatest love I've ever known. ♥
you are my past ; now, im my everything
